Me: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: What for?
Me: TO OPEN THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS What do you fucking think for.
Anything in life: "That means I have to put pants on."
Pretty friend: Omg i just got 100 likes on my profile picture
Smart friend: Omg i got an excellence on my internal
Athletic friend: Omg i just got asked to join the national team
Popular friend: Omg today i got invited to like ten parties
Me: Today i meowed at my cat and he meowed back